I once was lost in darkest night, yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own a rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first I would refuse You still
But as I ran my hell-bound race indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state and led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed, You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me, now all I know is grace.
-“All I Have Is Christ” Sovereign Grace Music
Reflecting upon the past year, one thing that God has really taught me at GOC was the magnitude of my own sin, and the infinite holiness of our God. The fact that we were rebellious against God. We wanted nothing to do with Him. We wanted our own way instead of God’s. And we abandoned Him for the path that we wanted to follow.
But we didn’t know the destruction that lay ahead of us. The sin that we constantly love committing, the sin that we consume our lives with, only leads us deeper and deeper in our rebellion, leading to a lifestyle that glorifies the unholy and unworthy. Through our sin we would bring upon ourselves our own destruction and our own suffering.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)” (Eph. 2:4-5 NASB). Even when we did not know the torment and suffering and punishment that lay ahead of us on our hell-bound race, God, infinitely compassionate and merciful, rescued US. Rescued ME. Even when I sinned against a holy God, even when I was fighting so hard against Him, living in sin and loving it… He died and gave himself for me, that I might come to love Him and live for Him.
It’s so difficult to even attempt to fathom how infinitely merciful my God is to me. That He would love a sinner like myself and rescue me from the evils that I never knew and the destruction that I was headed for.
Amazing love, how can it be that Thou my God shouldst die for me?