Such an eventful day that just went to show me God’s blessings despite my own weakness.
It was 2:40pm when I arrived at the GOC Table. Life is usually slow-moving at the Table during this time of the year; it’s Spring Quarter, most people have assimilated into the UCLA environment, and no one is really looking out for clubs, fellowships, or frats to join.
I immediately felt the different atmosphere when I stepped within a range of the Table, however, and I soon realized why: an argument had broken out between our GOC Tablers and a young homosexual man, Scott. From context, he despised our intolerance of allowing homosexuals the right to marriage. Although we definitely tried to step away from the conversation with no hard feelings, it didn’t help that the man constantly brought the conversation back. Mark, a friend of Scott, later joined in our conversation, and he was a lot more composed and less angry than Scott was. The both of them finally left around 40min later, but long after I had been shaken in my own convictions regarding the authority and validity of Scripture.
Tim prayed for us afterward, and I was reminded that in the past, I was just like them. Rebellious, intolerant of Scripture, not understanding of the things of God (1 Corinthians 2:13-14). And it humbled me to even think that I was any better. As Tim prayed, I realized the weak state I myself am in without the saving knowledge and power imputed unto me by Christ. It was so sad to see the rebellious souls of Scott and Mark, that they were unable to understand their desperate need for salvation. I began to tear up as Tim continued to pray, my heart broken for the lost who do not realize how much they need a Savior. It truly was a convicting time, to realize how lost we were in our own sin, in our own “hell-bound race” without even looking back at the desperate condition we are in, and our need to share Christ as our living hope with others.
I later had the opportunity to share with a man I met outside of Rendezvous. Dan was raised in a Catholic background but after reading Scripture for himself, found lots of areas in the Bible hard to believe. I wish I had shared how secure we could be in the truths presented in the Bible, but after being shaken up by the past encounter, as well as possibly approaching sharing the Gospel with him with the wrong motivation, I fumbled over my words and presented myself not even sure of myself what to believe. I really wanted to fix my mistake and share more with him until he was joined with two of his friends Garrett and Travis. When their conversation steered away from the topic, I couldn’t do anything else but to walk away wishing I could have been a better tool to use.
Meditating on my own convictions, and looking back at the events in hindsight, I feel so blessed to have a Creator who loves me and is with me through everything. Even in my own weakness and inability to share His Good News with others, there is nothing that I can do that can remove me from the love that He has for me. Even now it saddens me to think of all those who don’t have that security and hope, and I pray that I can strive to share the Gospel of Christ with everyone I meet, hoping that one day they may come to saving knowledge of He who died for those who would trust Him.
God, I just thank You for even using me, a weak and inadequate vessel, for the purposes of Your glory. And even now, as I eat with my floormates later tonight, and as I finish my last quarter as a first year student, that You would continue to fill me with boldness. Allow me to preach the excellencies of Your name to those who are lost without You. Break my heart that I may feel compassion and urgency to share Your grace and love with those that need it most. And in all things, may I continue to glorify You in everything that I do, knowing that it is the Lord Christ whom I serve.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.